What’s in my gym bag.

I’ve been meaning to get to the gym.  Maybe you’ve heard this from a friend but most likely it is yourself talking.  Yep. This has been my head lately. And in true time management control freak fashion, I’ve decided to take action and quit whining about it.  “An experiment”-I’ve told myself.  This helps me take action for the most part.  (Which is another blog post later.)  The experiment is to fill my gym bag and put it in the car. The action will be for me to stop at the gym after work.  Which involves creating a new habit, always an adventure of reward and reminding.  I’m up for the challenge. My first course of action is to get in to “The Feeling Tone“.  This is something that Derek Rydall  teaches.  What that means is that I will start surrounding myself with the people, places, activities, and objects that make me feel like I am being the “person that goes to the gym after work”.  It’s not just changing my mindset, it is changing my physical surroundings to support my habit change.

So what is in my gym bag?

The items in my gym bag that support me in getting to the gym are as follows:

  • Clothes
    • shirt
    • pant
    • socks
    • headband
    • bra
  • Shoes
  • Towel
  • earphones
  • flip belt
  • toiletries
    • lotion
    • soap
    • deodorant
    • perfume
    • hair product
    • shampoo
    • conditioner
  • Gym key
  • Water Bottle

That’s it.  This list will get me motivated and feeling like I am that person that goes to the gym.  I cannot forget the gym bag itself. In order to get started I just found a bag that I had around the house.  However, to really get into the “mood” of going to the gym.  I might like to find something more fun.  Same with the bag that I put my shoes in.  Right now all I have is a generic plastic bag.  I’d like to find a cute draw string bag to put my shoes in.

What objects make you “feel” successful in working out?

The Ultimate 90 day planning guide – Day 5

 

The Ultimate Planning Guide: Living 3 Months at a time intentionally

This is the last piece of a 5 day planning guide. If you are just joining me on this blog post, it is a part of a larger ultimate guide.  The next steps won’t make sense without the previous 4 days.  You can find day 1 here.

Calendar

Do you have a current calendar? Or do you just live life on auto pilot? Figuring what ever comes up, what ever adventure, appointment, or life event comes up will just happen? This is why you are here. To anticipate your life, your next 3 months, your next week, or even tomorrow. You cannot do these things with out some sort of calendar. You may have that wall calendar that you buy every year at the end of the year. For me this year it is one on pathways.

wall calendar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is calming right?

This is not the calendar I’m thinking of. It is the calendar that is your working calendar. Something that you add appointments to. Something that you may share with the family. Something that moves you forward with your goals.

Choose a Calendar

Just a few words about the next paragraph.  There are affiliate links meaning I get a little bit of money if you purchase from some of my recommended calendars.  However,  I have used all of these and only recommend what I have used and loved and I think that you would love to.
I recommend something that keeps you motivated. It could be something that is inspiring like my pathways calendar. Or it could be themed to something that you like. It just needs to be used by you on a daily basis. For me that is the bullet journal. My planning life changed once I discovered the bullet journal. To find out more about bullet journaling you could look here Ryder Carroll or here BOHO Berry. These two websites do a great job in bullet journaling. I also recommend my friend Lindsey’s calendars on ETSY for a custom themed calendar. A simple easy to use calendar on line or printable is at Win Calendars. Shared calendars on line are very effective with Cozi Calendars or Google Calendar. For more linear/logical planning I love Levenger products as well. Point being that there are many calendar systems you can use. Pick one use it. If it doesn’t fit your style, meaning you never use it. Pick another one and start using it. You will have to find the best calendar for you. But don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis when you start to pick out your calendar. Pick on that seem interesting and go with it. I know I haven’t made it easy for you. 🙂Tomorrow Plans

Using your Calendar with the Mind Map

Now it is time to put your mind map into your calendar to give your goals some more structure to be accomplished. You are going to use a monthly calendar and a weekly calendar.

Monthly Calendar

Step 1: Write in appointments and prep for those appointments.

Starting with your monthly calendar, put in all of your appointments and events for each month. This is easy as there is no breaking down of goals it is just an awareness of what is coming up. Write in any prep in anticipation of those dates. An example would be if you have any birthday cards you want to send out. You may want to write in buying the cards 2 weeks before the birthdays and sending the cards out 1 week before the birthdays. Now comes the harder part of breaking down your goals for the month.

Step 2: Write in your goal dates and actions to support

Take your MT goals and write in any of the dates of that goal that fall within the 90 days you are planning for. You are then going to work backwards from that date till now breaking that goal down into smaller steps.

Click Here to see bigger  Example of a Monthly Goal Break OutMonthly Goal Example

 

What smaller actions must you take by when in order to make that date? If you need to mind map this step before you add your steps to the calendar you may do that. Sometimes it is self evident what needs to be done by when to reach a certain date.

Weekly Calendar

The weekly calendar is something that you will revisit each week. This weekly planning is part of what keeps you sane through out your week and days.

Step 1: Pick a day to wrap up your week and plan for the next

My day is Sunday. I have time in the morning to myself where I can review what I did last week and move any thing I didn’t do to the next week. Keep this day consistent if you can. Try a day if you cannot fit it in try another day. Before I started planning on Sunday I had picked Friday because it was the end of the work week. However, I found that Friday didn’t work as it was just as busy going in to the weekend. So I moved it to something that worked. Always implement systems that work with you.

Always implement systems that work with you. ~Tweet This

Step 2: Use your monthly calendar to put in your appointments and events

This is the same step as with the monthly calendar but for the week. You already know what they are as you have them on your monthly calendar.

Step 3: Use your monthly calendar to put in your goal steps

Using your monthly calendar put in your to do’s. This should be a simple transfer.

Step 4: Weekly Tasks

There are 2 types of weekly tasks or to do’s.

  • Recurring
  • Unique

Recurring tasks are things that happen every week. Like garbage day, grocery shopping, etc. You could write those in if you have a tendency to forget them. Or if you want to have system for making sure they get done. For example: I do laundry everyday and I have a day of the week for each load of laundry. I write those in if I think I might forget to wash the sheets on Monday.

Unique tasks are things that only happen that week. I am referring to tasks that need to happen but aren’t in conjunction with the Big 3 or your goals. An example here might be to make a potluck dish for work.

Put these tasks and to do’s in to your weekly calendar. Some of these could be on the day it needs to happen or just as a simple to do list that you mark off

 

Click here for a printable M-S weekly calendar 

Take Action

Now it is time to take action. You have your 90 day plan. You can work that plan. You know what you need to do. Now you can do it. As you take action, notice how life becomes more inline with your values with your “Why”. You should start to feel as though your efforts and energies are focused on what is important to you: your Big 3. If you start to feel overwhelmed again. Revisit your self-care. After all these 90 days are about you. Don’t loose sight of that. If you would like more on this process of Quarterly Planning and haven’t gotten my free Quarterly Planning Workbook click below.  It is this process but in more detail with a lot more hints on how to take control of your most precious resource ~ your time.
Click Here for Your Free 90 Planning Workbook.
Planning. 90 Days. Intentional living

 

 

The Ultimate 90 day planning guide – Day 4

The Ultimate Planning Guide: Living 3 Months at a time intentionallyThis is Day 4 of a larger 5 day planning guide.  Please join me at Day 1 and move through the subsequent days.  This post won’t make much sense with out the previous posts.

Mind Map
“A mind map is a graphical way to represent ideas and concepts. It is a visual thinking tool that helps structuring information, helping you to better analyze, comprehend, synthesize, recall and generate new ideas.  Just as in every great idea, its power lies in its simplicity.”– Litemind.com

For you it will serve as a tool that:

  • Diagrams information around a central subject. —
  •  Includes sub topics and even more sub topics.
  •  Better than text/lists for seeing how things are connected.
  • Offers a non-linear way of thinking through a problem.
  • An at-a-glance map for the months in your 90 day plan.

Mind Map How To

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can either do a mind map with pen and paper (for those creative types) or you could even do a mind map with a computer (for those more logical types). If you aren’t sure which method is for you, you can try both and see which one you like or you could take a quiz here to see if you are more right brained (creative) or left brained (logical). If you want to know more about how to use mind mapping with Quarterly Planning.
Get your Free Complete 90 day planning workshop.
Quarterly Planning. 90 Days

 

What I recommend for computer programs are:

Here is a video that explains how to mind map using the 90 day plan.

If you would like an explanation of how to use mind mapping in general here is an article from Litemind that is pretty good. What is Mind Mapping?

Now that you have got the above components it is time to put your 90 days into some sort of workable action. This is where it all comes together on your calendar and into your life.

Tomorrow we will visit the last day – Day 5 of The Ultimate 90 day Planning Guide: Calendaring.

You can also join me on my Facebook page.

For your free step by step/fill in the blank workbook: download it here.
Click Here for Your Free 90 Planning Workbook.
Planning. 90 Days. Intentional living

The Ultimate 90 day planning guide – Day 3

 

The Ultimate Planning Guide: Living 3 Months at a time intentionally

 

This is a piece of a 5 day planning guide. If you are just joining me on this blog post, it is a part of a larger ultimate guide. Please start at Day 1 and Day 2 before going on. The next steps won’t make sense without the previous 2 days.

Goals

As you were picking out your Big 3 I’m sure you were thinking about what you wanted in those departments. If it was in career, maybe a new job. If in Health/Fitness, maybe to loose 10 pounds. You already have a small idea for those 3 goals. Write those goals down. If you have any feelings attached to the goals write those down too. What I mean by that is if I want to lose those 10 pounds. I would write something like: “If I lost 10 pounds I would feel like I could wear my favorite clothes again. ” Or if I felt negative about it: “If I work on losing 10 pounds I might not get to eat my favorite foods.” Your goals and feeling about those goals are valid and any observation on reaching those goals should be acknowledged. That is how you can stick to our “WHY” statement and move through fear or inertia.  Acknowledge those feelings, know what they are and when they come up, then take action anyway.  You are driving this life, not your fear or inertia.

“You have to feel your own personal truth with a little ‘t’ – your sadness, rage, frustration for example — in order to get to the Truth with a big ‘T’.” ― Derek Rydall, Emergence: The End of Self Improvement

 

How do you get from your very idealized goal to actualizing it or making that goal happen? There are a few tools that will get you from that ideal goal to taking action and making it happen.

bold actionAt this point you have been learning, dreaming, figuring out what is important to you with one small action to get you moving. Now its time to plan. Your going to do this with the following techniques and tools:

  • MT goals
  • Mind Map
  • Calendar

I’ll explain and go through each one of these techniques and tools today we will focus on MT goals then the next two on subsequent days.

MT Goals

If you are at all familiar with goals you have probably heard of SMART goals. It stands for Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, Timely. This technique for setting goals is great, however you don’t need to set goals with so many components to be effective. All you need for your goals are to be Measurable and Timely, MT (not empty). An example of an MT goal would be:

By January 5th 2017, I will have saved up $3000 for a trip to Hawaii.

In this example there is a time/date set and measurable goal. You could even break this down further by stating how much you will save a month.

By January 5th 2018, I will have saved up $3000 for a trip to Hawaii by saving $50 a month.

The beauty of the MT goal is that you can break it down into action steps and you can track your progress.  MT goals take that elusive feeling of what you want and gives you the ability to see it actualized.  You now have a way to control your dreams and outcomes.   Which is what we will do for this 90 day plan. As you are crafting your MT goal, do not forget the work that you did on your “Why”. One of the most sacred contracts that you keep is with yourself to be  congruent.  Congruency. Sacred Contract.

 

Write down your 3 MT goals.

Now it is time to create 3 MT goals, one for each of your Big 3 departments. Write those goals down. You’ll need them for tomorrow, Day 4: the Mind Map.

You can also join me on my Facebook page. 

For your free step by step/ fill in the blank planner: download it here.
Click Here for Your Free 90 Planning Workbook

Planning. 90 Days. Intentional living

The Ultimate 90 day planning guide – Day 2

 

The Ultimate Planning Guide: Living 3 Months at a time intentionally

 

This is a piece of a 5 day planning guide. If you are just joining me on this blog post, it is a part of a larger ultimate guide.  Please start at Day 1 here before going on. The next steps won’t make sense without Day 1.

Yesterday I covered Self Care and your “Why”.  Today is a shorter post as you are probably still thinking about your “Why” or are writing your statement.  The next two topics might help you gain clarity in your “Why”.

They are: Your life departments and The Big 3.

Let’s look at what makes up your life.

“On the one hand, we all want to be happy. On the other hand, we all know the things that make us happy. But we don’t do those things. Why? Simple. We are too busy. Too busy doing what? Too busy trying to be happy. —MATTHEW KELLY”
Your Life Categories or: Departments in Your Department Store of Life

If your life was a department store it would have many different departments. Retail businesses have departments or categories where they make their money. men’s, women’s, children’s, home goods, and baby departments. Each contribute to the bottom line in retail. Each department has a different manager, different associates for that department, and a different line item on the profit and loss statement. Your life is comprised into different departments as well. To manage them it helps to look at them separately and as a whole of who you are and where you want to go.

The 6 departments are:

  • Health/Fitness
  • Relationships/Family/Friends
  • Self/Personal/Spiritual
  • Home
  • Career/ Business/Creativity
  • Money/ Finances/ Abundancedepartments of life categories

These departments make up your life on a daily basis. However, you cannot focus on all of them at once consistently. So you will choose 3 to work with.

The Big 3

Retail is seasonal. Departments in retail are seasonal. Your life is also seasonal. Meaning that you don’t always have large goals in all of your life’s categories/departments. Being spread thin through out all of your departments is not going to get you any traction in 90 days. You have to focus. This is where the Big 3 comes in. When you look at the 6 departments of your life. Which ones are the most important to you? Pick out 3. These are what you are going to focus on for your 90 day plan. Why 3? Check out more about it on my post about it at The Big 3 blog post.  Jot down what your Big 3 are.  Put them where you will see them or refer back to them.  You could put them on display like you did your “Why” statement using Picmonkey or Canva.

Tomorrow we will visit Day 3 of The Ultimate 90 day Planning Guide: Goal Setting/Actualization and MT Goals.

For a free 90 day planning workbook: Download it here.
Click Here for Your Free 90 Planning WorkbookPlanning. 90 Days. Intentional living

 

The Ultimate 90 day planning guide – Day 1

The Ultimate Planning Guide: Living 3 Months at a time intentionallyMost of us feel as though we never have enough time for those things that matter most. Family, Friends, big goals, time for self…etc.

This post is for you if, you feel as though:

  • Your trying to catch up.
  • Holidays and birthdays sneak up on you
  • You go into a store and are exasperated that it is already Back to School, Christmas, or other holiday.
  • Look back and exclaim, “What happened to summer, fall, spring, winter, etc…”. I wanted to do ____________. (fill in the blank with the fun thing you wanted to do).
  • Feel overwhelmed at the prospect of the next season.
Retail doesn’t just happen. The seasons come year after year. Marketers know the cadence of consumers and are prepared months in advance of any sales or promotions.

 

I’ve worked in retail for 12+ years (heavy on the +). Each year the seasons change and the merchandising, sales, and labor/staffing change with those seasons. Usually to the chagrin of the shopper. I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve heard the following phrase from customers: ” I can’t believe that Christmas is out now.” How did you read that sentence? If you read it and agreed that ” Yep. The Holidays come way too early every year.” Or you read it and agreed that ” Yay! I love it when The Holidays show up in the store.” You would be one of the two types of customers that state the fact of Christmas in the store with either disgust or delight. Like it or not how early the Holiday sets and product start arriving in the store, merchandising plays an important role in retail. It is called planting the seed. Retailers, content producers (magazines, products, and the like) are all busy like Santa the year before or seasons before creating and planning to get these wonderful “toys” out on the shelf as early as September. Why? To get you the consumer to think ahead. To buy now for gifts later. If not now, then for when you are ready to go back and buy the item. You have been exposed to all those wonderful products and you must have them when the time comes. The seed of product suggestion was planted and time helped cultivate it.

Like it or not how early the Holiday sets and product start arriving in the store, merchandising plays an important role in retail. It is called planting the seed.

 

After working so long in retail it dawned on me that the companies I was working for were making bank by being just a few steps ahead of the seasons. So I started thinking like a business. I started planning ahead. I recognized that most companies on top of their yearly and monthly goals that they had two other types of goals in between half and quarterly goals. Why was I only planning out a month in advance at best? Heck, I could plan 3 months out. In fact, it gave me the advance plan in my life to take advantage of sales, vacation plans, set goals, and just know what things were heading my way. I’m pouring out some of my best practices for planning on a Quarterly basis below.

Start Here for you Free Quarterly Planning Workbook

The best way to predict your future is to create it. ~Abraham Lincoln

 

Let’s look at what Quarterly Planning means for you:

  • You make room for what is important to you.
  • You have a dedicated plan for your time because your time is your best asset.
  • You have a reliable, stable plan for 3 months.
  • You are planned out month after month.
  • You have a plan in place to realize goals.
  • You are able to take on your life with forward thinking in manageable chunks.
  • You make time for meaningful, purposeful, end goals.

How would it feel if you were to finally able to write that book, to travel, to take that class on sewing? Wouldn’t it be spectacular if you felt like you were ahead of what was coming at you on a day to day basis. A day, week, or even month planning will get you some of it but not all of it. Even if you are into high level goal setting. It is very difficult to take big dream goals like writing a book and put the action steps straight into your day. The day catches up to you. It gets away. Month planning helps, however usually the month is already spoken for before you even begin planning it. 90 day planning is manageable. It is ahead but not too far ahead. It is close but not too close.

90 day planning is manageable. It is ahead but not too far ahead. It is close but not too close. ~Tweet This

These 5 posts on Quarterly planning is for you if:

  • You feel time crunched.
  • You want to take the right action at the right time.
  • You are set on intentional living.
  • You want to be proactive/get ahead.

A few things that Quarterly Planning has got me is writing and sending Birthday cards ahead of time to help support my goal of reaching out to my loved ones. Quarterly Planning has let me create a plan to start a business while working full time and fixing up a house. I can’t say enough of planning 90 days in advance. So let’s get to how I Quarterly Plan and how you can too.

Get your free Quarterly Planning Workbook

The beauty of Quarterly Planning is that you can start it at any time. You don’t have to wait to the end of the month or the beginning of next month. Start today. Start this week. Start from where you are.start today. planning. 90 day

There are 6 components of planning for 90 days that will lead you to the results you want. These are the 6 days of this ultimate planning guide. They are:

  1. Self Care
  2. Life Departments
  3. The Big 3
  4. Goals
  5. Mind Map
  6. Calendar

I’ll give you the the why and the technique behind each one in the next 6 days. First we start with you.

Self Care

Quarterly Planning is about you. It is about your time. So that is where we start. You. Let’s talk a bit about self-care. If you do not have you, you have nothing. So be selfish with what is important to you. Give your self compassion, love, forgiveness, and understanding. I have written a blog post on it here. I encourage you to check it out. I make a case for the importance of you. So I don’t have to convince you any more. Let’s take some action.Self Care, Compassion, love

 

Step 1.

Determine your “WHY”.

Why are you planning anyway? Do you want to write that book? Spend more time with your family. Make an impact in a big way? Score the best price on your dream vacation? Think about the feelings you have around these big dreams and goals. This is “Why” you are doing it. Then create your “Why” statement.

Fill in the blank: I am planning my life intentionally in order to feel:

Step 2.

Take one small action today that will make you feel that way.

That is scary stuff! I actually have to take action to make my self feel good in some way? Start small. Take a bath. Have your daughter paint your nails. Light a candle while you do the bills. What ever you can do to accomplish the feeling that you want to achieve by planning out your life.

Let me give you an example: My “Why” statement is: I am planning my life intentionally in order to feel like I am sharing my life story and contributing in a big way to women in the world. This seems pretty daunting, right? Well at least it does to me. However, the small step that I can take today is to answer questions in a Facebook group of women that I belong to. To reach out and call my friend to see how she is doing. To write down an idea that I had for a blog post. Any small action that will get that feeling going. Start surrounding your self with the people, places, and things that make you feel extraordinary. Because you are!
Get your free quarterly planning workbook
Quarterly Planning. 90 Days

 

Step 3.

Put that “Why” statement on display.

Write it down. Create a piece of artwork around it. Create a photo in Picmonkey or Canva and put the text over it. Scrapbook or collage it. Take a photo and put it on desktop as wallpaper or on your phone’s lock screen. Put it on the fridge. Put it where you can see it. This helps keep you focused on what is important to you. Here is an example of my “Why” statement.WHY statement. planning

 

Please share your why statement with the Life On Her Own Facebook page you can do so here.

Tomorrow we will visit Day 2 of the Ultimate 90 day planning guide, Life Departments; the 6 categories that make up your life.

For More tips and an in-depth look at Quarterly Planning:  Download it here.
Click Here for Your Free 90 Planning WorkbookPlanning. 90 Days. Intentional living

 

 

5 Steps to Achieving Organizing Bliss

5 Steps to Organizing Bliss

Aww… The thought of organizing bliss.  We all have visions of the perfectly put together kitchen,  the clean closet, the organized junk drawer, all of the laundry folded neatly and put away.  We spend money on all sorts of pretty organizing items based off of the picture on the box.  I cannot lie. I love going to TJ Maxx and looking at all the boxes and files.  But as a professional organizer I know that these packages and products can only add to the clutter if not thought out correctly.  Buying them will not magically organize me.  I actually have to do the work.

Where Do I Start?

The most asked question that I got as a professional organizer was:

Where do I start?  

I have a longer blog post here on the subject.  The short answer is with yourself.  You need to take care of what you want first. I know it seems selfish, but with all the giving you do during the day.  (I know that you give till you can’t give anymore.  Most of us women do.)  It is time to give to yourself.  Especially since you are longing for organizing bliss.  So how do you start with yourself?  This is a two part answer:

  • Your physical space.  Where do you do most of your personal creating?  Where do you spend most of your time? Your room, a work space.  Odds are this is the most messiest area and the place you really are complaining about.  It is unlikely you are worried about the mess in the scary basement that you never go into.  Your frustration is in the area you are thinking about when you “Want to get organized”.  Start there.
  • Your self.  This is where the real work begins.  This is also where the 5 tips to organizing bliss happens.

Click Here for Your Free Personal Organizing Strategy

The 5 Tips to Organizing Bliss

#1 Find Your Why or “Why ask Why”

Becky told me that her main reason for organizing was to spend time with her kids.  I respect and honor that.  We all want to spend time with our loved ones.  As we started to work together, I noticed that she was frazzled and was always looking for the next thing to organize and clean even after we had a game plan.  I thought that she had lost sight of her “Why” she hired me.  So  I asked her again to gently remind her of her end goal.  She said again to spend time with her kids.  So I decided to change direction with her.  Giving her a homework assignment to take 30 minutes that she was spending on folding her unending loads of laundry, and spend it in the playroom with the kids.  Shutting the door to keep the distraction out.  She dug in.  She didn’t want to.  She made excuses of how much needed to get done.   We all do this. We all get caught in the moment of the emergency.  This is Why we ask “WHY”, to keep our focus on what is important.

“Two ways to influence human behavior: you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.”
― Simon Sinek, Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

 

Organizing is hard.  Organizing is emotional.  Organizing takes time and patience.  You are going to need a reason Why you are doing this hard thing.  You can only manipulate yourself in doing these tasks for so long.  In order for you to keep up the organizing fight you have to have a Why.  So how do you do this?

  • Ask important questions.  I have a list of those question in my free download.  


Here are few questions to get you started.
  1. What is really important to you?
  2. How would you spend your time if you were organized?
  3. What fulfills me above all other things?
  • Create a feeling.  This is about organizing bliss, right?  So start feeling the feelings that you want to have.  What does it feel like to be organized?  What would you have or not have in the space?  Feel it in your body.  How would you experience the feeling of being organized?  Would you open the junk drawer 10-15 times after it was done just to see how beautiful it is?  Feel that sensation.  This is what Derek Rydell calls the LIFT practice or Living In the Feeling Tone.  It gets your mind ready to receive the gifts of being organized.  Instead of the dread.

Now that you know your why.  It is time for step 2.

 #2 Power Statement

After determining your ” Why” you probably feel ready to conquer the clutter.  First we have to a touchstone.  A goal to work towards.  A focus tool.  This is the power statement.

“There can only be one most important thing. Many things may be important, but only one can be the most important.”
—Ross Garber”
― Gary Keller, The ONE Thing

What is the power statement?  It is a tool to keep you motivated.  A specific goal.  A path to eliminate mental roadblocks.  It has the power to change your limiting beliefs about your organizing life. (This Power Statement promises a lot).

An example of a Power Statement is:

Today is August 12, 2018 and I have an immaculate organized closet that has only clothes in them that make me look and feel fantastic.

There are a few elements to this statement here are a few:

  • Specific to your organizing goal
  • Reveals who you want to be
  • Positive
  • Has a specific date of accomplishment

You can find out how to craft this powerful Power Statement in my free download.
Click Here for Your Free Personal Organizing Strategy

The magic happens when we apply this Power Statement.  We apply first to our mental roadblocks.  The roadblocks, that like Becky had, that keep us stuck.  Secondly, to some concrete goals so we can finally take some action.  (All of this self work makes my brain hurt.)

#3 Eliminate the Roadblocks

What roadblocks?  (I just want to get started using those pretty products to get organized.)  We all have emotional and mental roadblocks to getting organized in the area that is bugging the heck out of you.  How do I know this?  If you didn’t you would be organized in that area.  It isn’t about time. It isn’t about containers. (Even though certain retailers spend money getting you to believe that.)  It really isn’t about systems.  Organizing is about you and what you believe about your conditions.

It isn’t about time. It isn’t about containers. Organizing is about you and what you believe about your conditions. –Tweet This

Let’s change your beliefs shall we?

We are about to embark on an environmental shift.  A shift in perception and feeling.  Remember that feeling you had when you imagined how it felt to be finally organized? We are going to fast forward to the date of your power statement and address any roadblocks that are stopping you to enjoy that feeling.

We do this by engaging the subconscious mind.

I want you to play a subconscious mind game here.  You’ll have to trust me that it works.  It seems silly and redundant but it is a powerful technique.

First, you are going to write your power statement in to three different points of view.

  •  First person  (I am)
  • Second person (You are)
  • Third person (Charlene is–Or Your Name is)

Let’s use the example from above.

  1. Today is August 12, 2018 and I have an immaculate organized closet that has only clothes in them that make me look and feel fantastic.
  2. Today is August 12, 2018 and you have an immaculate organized closet that has only clothes in them that make you look and feel fantastic.
  3. Today is August 12, 2018 and (Your Name)  has an immaculate organized closet that has only clothes in them that makes (Your Name) look and feel fantastic.

Now get 3 pieces of paper draw a line lengthwise (long ways) down the center.  So that there is a left and right side to the paper.  Start by writing the first person point of view on the left side of the paper.  Then on the right hand side of the paper write any thoughts, feelings, emotions, gut relations you have to the statement down. Then write the statement again on the left side of the paper. Do as you did before and write those thoughts you have on the right hand side of the paper.  Keep going on down the piece of paper (Statement – Feeling – Statement – Feeling) till you get to what you know to be your true base feeling about any limiting beliefs or road blocks that you have.  Whew…  your done with that exercise.  No.  You guessed it you do the same exercise for all 3 points of view statements.

Why are we doing this?  I’m ready for some pretty containers.

I know this is hard but this will get you to stick to your personal organizing plan.  Get through this exercise–you will be able to execute your plan effectively and be organized! With that let’s get to  planning your personal organizing strategy.

“Problems cannot be solved with the same mind set that created them.”― Albert Einstein

#4 Plan your Action or Commit your Action to Your Calendar

This step is much easier.  Here are the actions you are going to take.

  • Get a calendar.  If you are ready for some design or fun things now you can get some printable on Etsy or visit my friends Etsy shop here.
  • Put your power statement  on the date you committed to on the calendar.
  • Working backwards from that date decide what actions you will need to take in reverse order.  If you want and example get your free personal organizing strategy.
  • Tell someone about your commitment.  Ask for help if needed.

That wasn’t so hard.  Now you see the actions that need to be taken.  Now on to where we actually do something physical.

 

#5 Take Action

Just work the plan right?  Well yes.  However, there are some things to consider that will make your organizing adventure easier.

Start small.  Give your self a small win.  Junk drawer today…whole kitchen tomorrow.  Well almost tomorrow. Because of your planning you know the date that you will get that kitchen done by. 😉

Start with what is annoying you the most.  Are you just annoyed that you always clutter up the one counter top? Start there.

Don’t worry or be frustrated if your tasks or plans don’t happen on the dates that you planned.  Be ok with the fact that you are making progress no matter how or when.  Don’t let one or two or 20 hiccups get you down.  Life happens-keep going.

To help you on your journey here are a few book recommendations covered here:

  • Start with Why — Simon Sinek
  • The One Thing — Gary Keller
  • Emergence — Derek Rydall
  • Unstuff Your Life — Andrew J. Mellen
  • Organizing from the Inside Out — Julie Morgenstern

 

Please let me know if you have any questions on how to implement any of the tips here.  I am available on Facebook and Twitter.

For more tips and more comprehensive Personal Organizing Strategy.  Download it here.

Click Here for Your Free Personal Organizing Strategy

Happy organizing!

 

 

 

How To Spot “Those People” who blame

How to Spot “Those People” who blame: Tips to navigating lack of ownership in the workplace.

Blame How to Navigate in the Workplace

We have been going through the most busiest time of the year for my division at work. It is a time where everything is under scrutiny, deadline, and quality. In a word – Pressure. Throw in the mix that people can get seriously injured in this job if they don’t take their time to pay attention to what is going on around them in this fast paced environment. Mixed with the misconception that we all are immortal. “It won’t happen to me.” Is a favorite lie we all like to tell ourselves. So it is no wonder that my boss (who is the safety lead) took out some of his frustration in the form of a rant. He was on the phone talking to his peers about the injuries that we had in a 2 day period. The words he used were about how he wouldn’t go to the doctor for an injury like that. The frustration was palpable.   It got me thinking about how he was separating himself from the blame/situation. Even though I know he felt responsible, well even if he didn’t really feel it, he would be held ultimately responsible. At the very least, he would have to answer for how he/we could handle it better in the future. I knew this was him trying to process the answer he was going to tell his boss.

So, why do we do this separation or step back from responsibility? We are frustrated, we don’t have the answer, we want to blame someone or something else for lack of ownership. How do we tell if we aren’t stepping up to the larger vision/ taking ownership of the situation. What does it sound like when we have the “Those People Syndrome”? Why is it so important to recognize it and take steps to fix it?

The blame game and why we must not play it

We are no longer children placing blame on everyone else. The insecure finger pointer or the informer that is so busy worrying about covering her butt that as soon as someone does something wrong they are the first to point it out.

In an online article by ERIC SHANNON DECEMBER 28, 2011 entitled Stop Whining – take ownership at JustJobs.com Academy

  1. Blame subverts the process of our own improvement. As soon as we blame, we remove the need for ourselves to change; we place the requirement for work and improvement on the shoulders of someone else.
  2. Blame makes us victims of our environment, rather than masters of the universe.

Those of us who are in leadership positions or are continuing our growth need to recognize this bad habit or behavior and be able to address it with whomever is displaying this blame. Our first step is recognizing it is knowing what it sounds like when we blame or separate ourselves from a situation. The following words or phrases may be said:

  1. Yahoo’s
  2. Dumba##
  3. I never did
  4. Stupid people
  5. Those people

How do we combat this lack of ownership and blame?

Observe

Using your powers of observation is critical here. It is easy. I mean really easy to fall into the trap of whining along with your peers, boss, co-workers. Trust me I know that I’ve had plenty of bitch sessions over the phone. Sometimes those venting sessions are needed to be able to get the whining out in order to see the solution. It also helps your bitch mate to get out of the whining only if there are concrete solutions attached at the end of the conversation. No solution – no ownership. Stepping back and noticing the words you use and the thoughts you have are part of your self discovery tool box. You are on your path to self awareness “superhero status”. So exercise those powers girl! Now it is time to change your direction of blame. Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What am I frustrated over?
  2. What do I feel like I cannot control?
  3. What can I control?
  4. What am I trying to get out of?

The harder part is trying to get someone else to see that they are blaming or frustrated. In the situation of my boss, for example. What am I supposed to do? How am I going to get him to recognize his blame game? Should I even attempt it? There is a real threat of losing a job if trying to manage up. Let’s come back to this situation in a moment when I line out how to help someone else see their lack of responsibility for a situation. These someones are friends, loved ones, co-workers, and kids. Managing up is a bit tricker. So for those people you don’t have quite the risk with, the following techniques would apply:

Ask questions.

Asking leading questions is the best way for someone to come to their own conclusion. Leading questions are very different then loaded questions. Loaded questions are ammunition and we are NOT going for that. Leading questions are open ended and ask the person to answer the question themselves. They typically have lead off with what, when, why, and how. They can also contain the phrase “Tell me about…” This is a great opener to finding out how or why the person is blaming the situation outside of her/him. “Tell me about why you feel this way.” Could open the conversation up to the opportunity to lead the person to seeing where they are feeling frustrated, out of control, or where they don’t want to take ownership in the situation. Your job here isn’t to take responsibility for the other person’s behavior, but to open the other person’s eyes to what this behavior is. Your responsibility isn’t to place blame back at the other person. That is useless and makes the situation worse.

Once the conversation is rolling the second question you could ask is: “What can you do next time to avoid this?” Or “What can you do to change this?” These questions give the other person ownership of their behavior. They will recognize that they are the only ones who can change themselves. Not only that they will take the steps that they feel comfortable taking. Which greatly increases the opportunity for real change in behavior. Imposed behavior modification by someone else is a real struggle for all people involved.

Feedback

Another technique that could be used is the one from Manager Tools. In Giving Effective Feedback- Part One by Manager Tools, The model they use is really effective in helping people that you lead notice and change their behavior. They start with asking the question: “Can I give you some feedback?’ Then they proceed with the formula of pointing out to the other person how it affects things/people around them. An example might be: “When you say ‘Those people don’t know what they are doing.’ It separates you from the ownership and responsibility that we all have in this team to come up with constructive ways to fix the problem. The end of the conversation is the question to give them the opportunity to change their own behavior. “ What can you do in the future to change this?”, would be an example of a question to ask to give them the chance to come up with a solution.

How to handle a blaming boss

So in the case of my boss or managing up, is there a solution? I’ve lead you to believe that there is a thing called managing up. However, there really isn’t. According to the Harvard Business Review and Manager Tools. Managing up is really about managing the relationship with your boss. Figuring out how she works and tailoring yourself and team to it.

Successfully managing your relationship with your boss requires that you have a good understanding of your supervisor and of yourself, particularly strengths, weaknesses, work styles, and needs. Once you are aware of what impedes or facilitates communication with your boss, you can take actions to improve your relationship. You can usually establish a way of working together that fits both of you, that is characterized by unambiguous mutual expectations, and that makes both of you more productive and effective. Harvard Business Review – Managing Your Boss

With Manager Tools the advice is to prep your team to know how your manager works. To have one on one conversations with each team member to let them know what to expect from your manager. This was part of the podcast Bad Boss #1 Angry and Demeaning Bosses when you have direct reports. Even though the boss in question here isn’t Angry or Demeaning, however your boss may place blame on others instead of herself. Your direct reports and yourself need to know this and be able to handle it. The advice in the Manager Tools podcast is sound. One of those steps is to perform. To do the work given to you. I would almost say to take it one step further and document if you think you may need a paper trail down the road.

So what is my coarse of action in this case of a manager who thinks and acts as if “Those People” are idiots? First off, I will not engage with my boss when this behavior is present. Meaning, my opinion is mine and she doesn’t need to know it. Talking bad about other people will always come back to bite. Second, I will do what I am told to do, as long as it is ethical and safe. If either of these are compromised, I will stand up to my boss. Third, I will disengage with my boss in this behavior as soon as I can. Fourth, I will get to know my boss’s work habits, communication style, standing meetings, and anything else that will help me work better with her. Fifth, I will have one on one meetings with my team if the behavior from my boss gets worse in the blame game and let them know how to work with her. As I don’t want them to be surprised by any behavior that could have a negative impact on my team.

The keys to the blame game is to observe, use discernment on who you are addressing in order to take the right action with that person. By all means make sure to stop and observe yourself and your behavior when you are tempted to say “Those people don’t know what they are doing.”

 

 

 

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